One of things I learned about my relationship with God is that it is not based off of stale facts or doctrines. But rather, God is known to me in my life through the journey that He has taken in my life.

In the low seasons of my life, the high seasons, the difficult ones, and walking up and down the valleys of life with my hand in His, God shows me who He is as he relates and speaks to me during those times. I found that my relationship with Jesus grew in the journey.

Then I reflected upon a relationship between a man and a woman and how it’s not much different.

As God leads me and grows my love for him in the journey of life, I believe it is a man’s responsibility to lead their wives into the journeys of life as a way of growing that relationship. There’s a tendency to find the right girl, get married, and then just “settle”. But I think if we are interested in growing our relationship with our wives, we need to get off the couch and do something real.

Because if the journey is the means by which our relationships grows, we need to be the one who spearheads and leads her on new and awesome journeys of life. We need to be adventurous, not passive, exciting, not boring, and unafraid of exploring unmarked domains, not comfortable in roads already traveled.

I have a honest belief that women of God are looking for men of God who can lead and initiate those journeys. That in the mundane of life, men can seize opportunities to do something wild and outrageous, e.g. pack our bags and venture into a new country, or engage in a challenging hobby together, or participate radical social justice initiative, etc.. (just some ideas that popped into my head).

I think that when we start those new journeys with our wives, we will see new and awesome things about her that we never knew. We’ll see them react to new situations and to new sceneries, we’ll hear new words and sounds, we’ll engage in greater intimacy. And there’s something about being on a journey that elicits that from people that nothing else can.

I would love the feeling of seeing my wife being thrilled one day. Perhaps not the thrill of knowing exactly what we’re doing, or where we’re going as we’re on this journey, but the thrill that she can trust me to lead the both of us, even in the midst of uncertainty. That as God is my humble provider, so I am to her as well. That her heart is safe in mine, even though the winds and the storm be all around us.

God will give us many opportunities in the narrative of our lives to radically grow the relationships with our wives by jumping into the playground of the world that He has made. They may or may not come often, but when they do, I think men should do their wives a favor and seize them!