Last week I spent a few days to take a personal retreat in Kansas City, MO from the high-paced life in Los Angeles, CA. I made use of IHOP’s prayer room and spent hours there every day worshiping, praying, and journaling things the Lord was speaking to me about.
I felt that it was a very good and life-giving trip as the Lord spoke to me about several things.
At my personal retreat, God taught me some things:
- Song of Solomon 1 was really brought to my attention. v6 says others have me “keeper of vineyards”, but “my own vineyard I have not kept!”. It’s allegorical description of the way we steward our heart to love Jesus. I felt that this quarter I wasn’t a very good steward of my heart to love Jesus with. I was busy taking care of other people’s relationships with Jesus, but the own garden of my heart was untilled, unkempt, and ultimately unfit for intimate love with Jesus.
- I felt that somewhere along the way of doing and having high visions for ministry, I had forgotten what it meant to be absolutely in love with Jesus. There are clear indicators of my relationship with him that I miss–I miss the way my heart moved when I sang and said his name. I miss crying at his feet, filled with his affections. But instead, my relationship with Jesus has been more “Jesus is my boss” (which he is), than “Jesus is the lover of my soul” (which I need live from).
- I need to seriously reconsider my relationship with technology and how it affects my mind’s capabilities to focus in on prayer throughout my daily schedule. Psalm 119:37 comes to mind: “Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in your ways.”
Overall, I’d say it was quite a successful retreat, and looking back, I’m glad I scheduled it months in advance.
I’m very thankful for the ministry of IHOP and the work the Spirit is doing among them.